Thanks to everyone who commented on my first dystopia post! It seems like we have some pretty hearty readers out there--I think most of you would definitely survive longer than me!
Doing that post and thinking about how long I would survive got me thinking...
How long would some of our favorite non-dystopia characters survive??
So, without further ado, I give you...
The Disney Hunger Games!!
We all know our favorite Disney characters have some spunk. Ariel straight up betrays her father and makes a deal with a sea witch, Belle shoves Gaston in with the pigs, and Mulan pretends to be a boy and joins the army!
But what would happen if we took them all and threw them into a dangerously animated arena?
Roll Call: Disney Princesses!
Ariel
Why she'll survive: She's a mermaid, so she can hold her breath underwater for an infinitely long time. All she has to do is swim to the bottom and wait everyone else out.
Why she'll die: Her hoarder tendencies will make her backpack too heavy to carry.
Belle
Why she'll survive: She's smart AND skilled, and unnatural talking creatures don't freak her out. Plus, she's so nice and genuine, it would be like killing a puppy.
Why she'll die: Her love for beast-like creatures will lead her too close to an actual beast.
Jasmine
Why she'll survive: She's already befriended a tiger and proved that she can jump roof-to-roof just as well as Aladdin. She refuses to stand down when someone threatens her, and can handle herself on flying furniture.
Why she'll die: Girlfriend got herself trapped in an hour glass. Also, she has Lois Lane vision--make one little change to yourself and she won't recognize you. So just disguise yourself as a walking bush and she'll believe you're a lovely bit of magic.
Mulan
Why she'll survive: She's one of the only Disney princesses that has actual battle skills, and unlike most other Disney princesses, where it's ultimately up to the man of the story to kill the bad guy, she's ready to go out and do this thing herself.
Why she'll die: Her mad skills will make the other princesses nervous and they'll gang up on her.
Cinderella
Why she'll survive: Her fairy Godmother will be sending her silver parachutes day in and day out.
Why she'll die: She'll use the silver parachutes to make a ball gown for herself.
Pocahontas
Why she'll survive: She's one with nature, dresses in natural camoflauge, and can paint with all the colors of the wind.
Why she'll die: When it comes time to kill for food, she'll refuse to say an animal's life is less than hers and will end up weak.
Aurora
Why she'll survive: She's really good at hiding. Plus, like Cinderella, she's got a fairy godmother. Three of them, in fact.
Why she'll die: The fairy godmothers will tell her not to do ONE THING. And then she'll do it.
Snow White
Why she'll survive: She's got seven little men who will give their lives for hers.
Why she'll die: She'll gladly accept strange gifts from strange people.
Tiana
Why she'll survive: She's learned to live--and survive--in a man's world, and has a work ethic like nobody's business.
Why she'll die: Get turned into a toad and eaten for lunch.
Now that we've met all our tributes...let the games begin!
This is how I imagine things playing out:
In the race for the Cornucopia, I predict that Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana will come away with the best loot. Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine will get some useful items, but not as many. Aurora, Snow White and Cinderella won't even make it to the Cornucopia, instead heading directly for the comfort of the forest so they can sing to the animals there.
I think Aurora, Snow White and Cinderella will form an alliance, while the rest are too plucky and will go solo.
There will definitely be a multitude of singing.
And this is the order that I think they'll go in:
Both Snow White and Aurora will take themselves out, Snow White by eating posionous fruit (obvi) and Aurora by doing whatever the ONE THING her fairy godmothers told her not to do.
Cinderella's next--silver parachute ball gown is poor camo.
From here, it's a toss up. I think Jasmine might go next (magic carpet runs out of magic), and then Ariel (her hoarding slows her down.)
And as much as it pains me to say it (since Belle is my favorite), I think Belle goes down next.
That makes my final three Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana.
I know who I think would win.
But what about all of you? Who do YOU think would win the Disney Hunger Games? One of my final three? Or did I discount someone? Is Cinderella secretly a ringer? Can Sleeping Beauty's killer voice do exactly that? Let me know!
I am thinking Mulan will win. She is resourceful and has had a brush with death before.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably the coolest posting I've seen in the longest time. You GO, GIRL!
ReplyDeleteOn, and to answer your question, I agree with Elizabeth. I vote for Mulan!
Love, Hannah
I think Mulan will get too full of herself, and run headfirst into some kind or trap without realizing it; she was too busy battle-crying and sprinting to kill the other two.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere along the line Tiana will get mad because Pocahontas is doing an awesome job of camo., and Mulan just killed herself, and since she's the sassier of the group, she'll say something sarcastic, and that leads the crazy evil creatures to her.
I think Pocahontas will win. She knows what grasses and berries and such that aren't poisoness, and she's got a connection with nature. I think she's just most likely to stick it out silenetly and just watch things happen. She won't even have to work at it.
I'm in love with this post. I just might link to it on my blog. :D
Mulan to win but perhaps belle to out wit (though that may be wishful thinking on my part)
ReplyDeleteThis post was alot of fun to read and very creative. Good job.
Seahn
I think that Pocahontas is a sure winner. She lead Lewis and Clark across our country. She's got skillz...
ReplyDeleteAnd, I added this post to my Mockingjay Madness entry. Here's the link: http://derapsreads.blogspot.com/2010/08/mockingjay-madness.html
This is brilliance, Sara! Though I think you didn't give Cinderella enough credit, since she's pretty tough after all those years of manual labor and emotional abuse. She's not afraid to get dirty. She won't win, but I think that she'll do better than, say, Belle or Jasmine.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to say Pocahontas FTW, because she's a less obvious choice than Mulan (who's practically a Career Tribute, come on!), and I think there will be some alliances against Mulan that will bring her down.
I laughed so hard I couldn't stop crying. I'm so tweeting this!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis was so awesome! Must. Retweet. Now.
ReplyDeleteHoly crepes this is AWESOME. What evil genius! I will not be able to stop brainstorming awful Princess death all day and that makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteThis was the most epic post ever! I definately think Mulan would win despite how much I adore Ariel (unlessi t's a water arena - then I vote for Ariel)
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty much the best post ever. You put a lot of thought into it! I think Mulan or Phocahontas would win, probably Mulan because she is one tough cookie. but then again I think Phocahontas is most like Katniss. Hmm...
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend, I am a new follower!
Danielle @ everylastpage.blogspot.com
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteMulan would totally win! she's all badass and has some pretty scary swords skills!
ReplyDeleteThis has to be one of the most awesome post ever!
I think maybe you should do one with Disney men now! Who will survive?? The Beast vs. Aladdan! it's on! haha
Umm this is hysterical. And I think you might have underestimated Jasmine. I think either she or Mulan would win. Jasmine's one tough cookie.
ReplyDeleteThis is HILARIOUS - of course Mulan will win, as long as she doesn't get distracted by her reflection. =P
ReplyDeleteOh, it so has to be Mulan. Can anyone forget how good she was at training camp? She defeated the Huns. She'd definitely have to be from one of the Career Tribute states.
ReplyDeleteMulan for the win!
This is a really funny and interesting piece. I just wish Kidagakash (from Atlantis: The Lost Empire)had been apart of this.I think she could have gone all the way!
ReplyDeleteI vote for Mulan for sure. She's resourceful and brave. I'd be rooting for Belle though-she's my favourite and I bet she'd get a lot of gifts from sponsors...
ReplyDeleteMy bet is on Mulan if she got her hands on a sword. Ariel is at a distinct disadvantage not being able to be on land... so no dice.
ReplyDeleteBut I do think Belle may last longer than you'd think. She's read all those books, who knows if he got her hands on a copy of "How not to die in the Hunger Games." I can also see her being witty and learning from someone else.
So you know what, I switch my bet to Belle. It's never who you think is going to win.
I am supporting Mulan all the way! That girl rocks! She is smart and skilled and doesn't rely on others to solve her problems
ReplyDeletemulan will dominate! She was trained to kill... who can argue that! She has bow skills climbing skills and a severe skill in flying by the seat of her pants!!!!!!!! Heck she defited the hun army!!!!!!!!!! here I'll add some more exclaimation points for dramatic effect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
ReplyDeleteI think it'd come down to Mulan and Pocahontas. But I vote Mulan for the win!
ReplyDeleteHaha, this post is awesome! Love all the descriptions you gave. Totally agreeing with everyone else who said Mulan will win hands-down.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm thinking if Aurora does make it to the Cornucopia, she'll manage to prick her finger on a poisoned weapon and keel over right then and there...
Danya
A Tapestry of Words
Let's get down to business to defeat the...tributes! Mulan will kick butt.
ReplyDeleteI loved this post! :)
WOW!
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for your comments and insights about our beloved Disney Princesses! It was so fun to be on the road trip and keep having our phones light up as the new comments came rolling in! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it all! This was so fun to write, I just might have to do a sequel... (cue evil laughter)
Elizabeth, Hannah, Sassy CC, Erica, Danielle, Caitlin, KM, Katie, DKB, Library Gal, Helen's Book Blog, Kare, Shel, Danya, Jackie Noel -- I agree with you all! I think Mulan would win the Hunger Games, even though my favorite princess is Belle, if it comes down to who has the most bad-ass skills, I think it has to be Mulan.
Maggie--I love you scenario! I could definitely see that happening, and you make a great point about Pocahontas being able to sit back and let things happen around her. We would love a link on your blog, thank you!
Mrs. DeRaps--Thanks so much for the link/mention! Although I think Mulan would pull it out in the end, Pocahontas was my very close second--it really could go either way.
Stina & Anne--Thank you so much for the tweets! Let us know your twitter handles and we'll follow (if we aren't already.) I'm glad you enjoyed the post!
Sarah Enni --Glad to be of service :) I enjoyed writing this (and reading all of your comments) so much I just might have to write a part two... so more evil thoughts on the way!
Julia--I'm glad you have faith in Belle! She's my favorite princess, and I think you could be on to something--she could own everyone with the brains vs. brawn thing!
Danya--your comment about Aurora made me laugh out loud! It's so true!
Aurora is my favorite but she would not survive long. I would put my mone on Pocahontas, painting with all the colors of the wind is one good skill. This is an amazing post and I will be stopping by your blog more often!
ReplyDelete-Sarah
As everyone before has said, this is a great post. I'm going with Mulan, even after reading all the scenario's others have posted about what could happen to Mulan because she's so kick a**, I still think, she'd slit a throat in a heart beat...the other girls, they just don't have it in them.
ReplyDeleteBest. Post. Ever.
ReplyDeleteReally, Sara, you have to win all kinds of awards for this post. It's SHEER GENIUS. And hugely entertaining. And funny. Scholastic, are you listening? Sign this girl up.
I'm betting on Pocahontas.
This post is so awesome and so link-worthy :)
ReplyDeleteI'd put my money on Mulan-she's just as determined as Tiana and I'm sure she could outsmart her. Even though I LOVE Pocahontus I feel like she wouldn't be able to kill (does she even have the skills to? she could survive by eating things in the wild but she'd have to confront her fellow tributes at some point!) Yup, I'm thinking Mulan would make it-she knows how to fight!
One question though: will Mooshu and Cricket be there to help? lol!
I think Mulan will win because she's been in the army, but I also think that you underestimated Aurora. All you have to do is make her touch some poisonous plant or spike by saying "Touch the plant... Touch it!"
ReplyDeleteYou should write this into a story and publish it on the internet.
Erin xx :)
OMG, this is hysterical. Yeah, Mulan has my vote. She can use weapons and is scrappy. But Pocohantas could surprise us all with her resourcefulness (and she can use weapons, too). But being a Belle fan, I can't discount her, either, lol.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Mulan! She knows how to be ruthless.
ReplyDeleteMulan hands down! Two reasons: She's tough as nails and is well practiced in the killing arts. And two: she has a lucky cricket! You can't beat a lucky cricket! And she's allowed to take him with as a token, like Katniss' mockingjay pin.
ReplyDeleteShe'd do anything for honor and she'd have the biggest fan base--and thus the most gifts--because she had the best team of stylist (aside from Cinderella who got the bibbity-bobbity-boo treatment). Mulan would win.
Definitely Mulan. Just watch the movie, she practically went through the Games once already! She would take out all the other princesses while they were waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue them, because she's just awesome like that.
ReplyDeleteI think mulan or pocahontas...
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is voting Snow White, since she can use her voice to charm animals, she will simply hypnotize all the muttations and sic them on the other tributes. The whole thing will be over in about 10 minutes.
ReplyDeleteEven though Belle had all that access to knowledge (books), she sure was dense when it came to applying it to her own life. Like, she totally didn't discover that it was him until chapter the end of the movie.
I'm with whoever said Mulan will get distracted by her own reflection, and that will be her downfall.
I'm thinkin' Rapunzel might be the one with her special hair weaponry powers...we'll have to wait and see though!
(awesome post!)